


Help Me Solve the Puzzle

by NeverAgainEvan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, One Shot, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 01:17:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverAgainEvan/pseuds/NeverAgainEvan
Summary: The Force Awakens through Kylo Ren's eyes.





	Help Me Solve the Puzzle

It was weird being in love and having to hold back those feelings for the sake of yourself and the one you love. She left her family and killed most of her former friends, but love prevents her from acknowledging those things in fear of what he would think. Spending time with him was hard as well, being focused on keeping Snoke out of her head while trying to pay attention to him. So, she did what any person who was in love and also in a position of power, she used him. Used him so he always knew he would be hers and to keep suspicion off her back on her extracurricular activities. She did not know it would drive him away and create a wall between them that was never there. As she became more consumed by the dark side, the more she used him. Till she became blind to his feelings and passion and did not notice the rising discontent, and soon all they became were vessels for each other’s pleasure. 

It was not until after he and that insufferable Resistance pilot fled to Jakku did she understand his last words to her. 

“Run away with me Breha,” he pleaded with her. His breath erratic and skin clammy to touch.   
“Kylo,” she snapped at FN-2187, or Finn as she called him. “I told you your failure of a friend had no place in the perfection of the First Order, his death does not surprise me. What does was your inability to fire your weapon soldier.” 

Finn crawls within himself as if hiding something, she decides to not push, he’s been keeping secrets from her increasingly for two months. 

“I’m sorry Lady Ren,” he says emotionlessly, the lack of emotion scalds her soul, but she brushes it off and undresses. ‘Snoke hates weakness.’ Her nightgown falls off effortlessly and after it was a whirlwind of pleasure. Finn had fucked her like never before, full of unrestrained anger, he had put her pleasure before his tenfold and by the end she was sand drifting in the force. She now knew he did so because he needed her asleep and happy for once to sneak off the star destroyer with the Resistance prisoner. 

Then she learned he and a female scavenger escaped from Jakku together, TOGETHER!! She raged for days and nights, she killed five different stormtroopers for even resembling him in the slightest. She began to hate this Rey, with all her heart and was extremely displeased when they needed her alive to get the map.

Through her mind torture she saw Finn showing emotions to this Rey he never showed her. Then Rey outsmarted her learning of her deepest darkest fears somehow. 

“You love him but are scared of losing him, so you push him away. Not even considering his own feelings for you! No miracle he left you for a most likely death!” Rey’s voice rose with each implication and was tearing her down, she left in a flush of anger to meditate. She meditated on her feelings for Finn, and why the Scavenger’s bash against her handling of her and Finn’s relationship stung more than that she would never live up to her grandfather’s skill. She was there for maybe two or three standard hours when she felt him. His presence in the force was mixture of content and forced down melancholy, she wondered if his melancholy came from her. She left her meditation chamber full of the dark side of the force, it whirled around her like a tornado and clouded her judgment. She felt Snoke’s hand in this. Finding them in the thermal oscillator. Her father tried to plead with her to come home and be forgiven for her sins. She glanced at Finn and felt that maybe she should take her father’s hand. If she did maybe Finn would love her still, she saw a glimmer of hope in Han and Finn’s eyes. Only for it to be diminished when Snoke ordered her to kill her father. 

“Only way to keep Finn in your life is through pure power, killing your father will give you that power!” Snoke’s words filled her mind till that was all that was there. Power equals obedience, obedience equals love, love that is reciprocated. Her body moved on its own. A red scar flashed in the dimly lit chamber.

Screams filled her senses, and realized she was screaming in grief. She felt a blaster bolt connect on her side. She looked up and saw Finn’s look of disappointment, that rendered a gash bigger than the blaster wound in her heart. Finn grabbing Rey’s hand to leave the chamber caused her to scream in rage and pain. She followed them to the forests outside of the thermal oscillator.   
“Han Solo can’t save you now,” She screamed striking her wounded side, to fuel her anger.  
“You’re a monster,” Rey opened fire on her but Kylo deflected her blaster shots and forced pushed her into a tree knocking her out. Finn ran to see if she was alright but Kylo stopped him with a roar.

“Don’t you dare touch her TRAITOR,” she roared at him, charging with an overhead strike. Finn met it head-on with a lightsaber. ‘Where did he get a lightsaber?’ On closer inspection it was her grandfather’s lightsaber, her lightsaber. “That doesn’t belong to you!” She pushed him out of the lock and swiped at his legs, but he parried and stabbed at her. “WHY did you LEAVE ME!” She sidestepped his stab and kicked him in the gut knocking him to the ground. She stabbed at where he was supposed to be, but he rolled. His face was cast in desolate determination. She needed an answer before she finished him, she needed to know. Did he ever love her, was she loving a man who used her like she used him? She knew she was the one to blame for where this had gone and gone too far it had. A rational part of her wanted to throw down her weapon and embrace him and cry. The stronger part consumed by rage, fueled by her killing of her father, forcing Finn to leave, and her own unhappiness drove her to attack Finn with such force that he would surely die. When she parried a blow, spun him and sliced open Finn’s back, it scared her more then Snoke’s voice in her head. Looking at his body in the snow, all the anger left her, all she felt was the force telling her that her greed and misunderstanding of…of everything caused this. Snoke caused this. She caused this. The scavenger caused this. Han caused this. The force caused this. That was her thought as she watched outside her body, as her grandfather’s lightsaber flies to the Scavenger’s hand and not her own.

Looking at the girl, she saw a young Breha Solo following Master Luke around the galaxy in search of Jedi relics not touched by the Empire or sold away by treasure hunters. She looked down at Finn and felt tears come, as jealousy and anger at herself filled her while the force left her. Why was the force leaving her, she felt it no longer, she couldn’t even feel the Scavenger as they fought. She fought using instinct and long-bred training from the age of seven to fight her. She had enough to feel that the force was surrounding the Scavenger like a warm bath. As the Scavenger slashed at her face, all she screamed was “Finn!” Before pain consciousness left her in the snow for dead. 

When she awakens on the Supremacy two days later and saw the slash that ran across her face, she felt like a jigsaw puzzle missing parts. Snoke whispered that he had the power to bring Finn back to her. Was Finn dead? Her soul was broken. Her father was dead. The force left her. Everyone leaves her, or did she leave them first? Alone in the abyss. 

She did not know, but like her face her mind was broken, and the only force she felt was similar to the sun at dawn, cool but warm. Looking deeper into herself she found the source. The source was her love for Finn, and her only thought to fix her past mistakes came to mind. 

With the force filling her again, she realized the haze she had been for years under Snoke. He did not feel as powerful as he was years ago. Snoke’s power is his manipulation, Kylo realized, and she fell into it like a gambler. And gambled too much and lost too much.

“You dare!!??” Snoke whimpers and growls, Kylo heard and felt the mental bombardment. 

But Breha Solo left the throne room burning, full of bodies and a severed Supreme Leader. Breha Solo sabotaged the Supremacy’s engines. Breha leaves on her TIE with data chock full of First Order locations in the Unknown Regions. Breha turns herself in at D’Qar, with only request she attends Finn’s funeral. 

Finn’s eyes open two days later and smiles when he looks upon her face. He looked so relieved and happy for the first time in months, like when they first began to meet. The way he had taken her that night, agonizing slow and full of affection kept in for a long time. She felt the minute Aeryn took root and was conceived. As they slept together for the first time, all she could do was apologize as he stroked her face and she his back. She had never cried so hard. 

Breha stands before a tribunal after the First Order and Imperial remnants have been defeated years later beside Finn and their child Aeryn and accepts her fate with a smile. Life in prison was her sentence but house arrest till death is the punishment dealt out for her role in defeating the First Order. It did not matter to her, through the force she accepted all her fates foreseen. Love brings love. Love brings peace. And Peace bring serenity.

And for the first time in years, she can show her love to others, and not be scared of someone or herself destroying it. She has found peace. She is a Jedi.


End file.
